Etiquette

Invitation Wording

Because not all situations require the same wording!

traditional

Invitation issued by bride’s parents
standard form

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Chase
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie
to
Mr. Jonathan Gary Hugh
on Saturday, the twentieth of March
two thousand twenty one
at a ten o’clock
First United Presbyterian Church
Boston, Massachusetts

INVITATION ISSUED
BY BRIDE AND GROOM’S PARENTS

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Chase
Mr. and Mrs. Barry Benjamin Hugh
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Alisa Marie
and
Jonathan Gary

INVITATION ISSUED
BY BRIDE AND GROOM

Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
request the honor of your presence
at their marriage

NUPTIAL MASS
NOTE THE USE OF “AND” RATHER THAN “TO”

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Chase
request the honor of your presence
at the Nuptial Mass uniting their daughter
Alisa Marie
and
Mr. Jonathan Gary Hugh
on Saturday, the twentieth of March
two thousand twenty one
in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
at a ten o’clock in the morning
Saint Joseph’s Cathedral
Boston, Massachusetts

INVITATION ISSUED
BY THE GROOM’S PARENTS

Mr. and Mrs. Barry Hugh
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of
Alisa Marie Chase
to their son
Jonathan Gary Hugh

INVITATION ISSUED
BY DIVORCED PARENTS

Mrs. Ellen Wright
Mr. Thomas Chase
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie Chase
to
Jonathan Gary Hugh

MOST FORMAL
NOT IN A CHURCH

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Adam Chase
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie
to
Jonathan Gary Hugh

non-traditional

Please join us for a celebration of
love, friendship, laughter, and family as
Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
are united in marriage

Your love and friendship have helped us
become who we are.
Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
invite you to share our joy and support our love,
as we exchange vows and celebrate our marriage

Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
are getting married!
Please join them on Saturday, March 20th

Together with their parents
Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
invite you to celebrate
at their wedding

This day I will marry my best friend
the one I laugh with, live for, love
Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh
invite you to join them as they
begin their new life together

Please join us
as we celebrate new beginnings, new dreams,
and most importantly, new love at the marriage of
Alisa Marie Chase
and
Jonathan Gary Hugh

Military

OFFICERS ABOVE THE RANK OF LIEUTENANT:
HAVE THEIR TITLE BEFORE THEIR NAME

Major and Mrs. Thomas Chase
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie
to
Captain Jonathan Gary Hugh
United States Navy

JUNIOR OFFICERS: TITLE ON THE SAME LINE
BEFORE BRANCH OF SERVICE

Major and Mrs. Thomas Chase
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie
to
Jonathan Gary Hugh
First Lieutenant, United States Army

A RANK BELOW THAT OF SERGEANT
IS NOT INDICATED

Major and Mrs. Thomas Chase
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Alisa Marie
to
Jonathan Gary Hugh
United States Army

RSVP Wording

Collect all the information you need to make your event a success!

rsvp date

There are many ways to list the date that you would like responses mailed back to you

Examples
Please respond by May 28, 2021
Your reply is requested by May 28th
Kindly reply by June 18, 2021
The favor of a reply is requested by April twentieth

a space for your Guest names

Traditionally, this is indicated with an ‘M’ standing for the first letter of the guest’s preferred title. Eg. Mr. or Mrs. Lately, writing  ‘Name’ or ‘Name(s)’ has become more popular.

Coming or not?

This is the place for your guest’s to indicate whether or not they are coming. Be creative or keep it traditional.

Examples
accept with pleasure/decline with regret
wouldn’t miss it for the world/will celebrate from afar
graciously accept/respectfully decline
will join the celebration!/sadly, regrets
ready to eat, drink, and see you get married/will toast from afar

entree selection

If you are serving a plated meal, each guest’s selection will have to be gathered in advance to provide to your caterer. If you are serving a family style dinner, buffet, or will offer the options table-side, this section can be skipped.

Be sure to ask them to initial their entree otherwise you might get check marks which make it hard to know which guest ordered which meal. You’ll need that info for placecards!

examples

The favor of a reply is requested
by June 20th

M __________________________
____ accepts with pleasure
____ decline with regret

Please indicate each guest’s entree selection
____ filet   ____ salmon   ____ vegetarian

Please respond
by June 20th

M __________________________
____ will join the celebration!
____ sadly, regrets

Please initial next to your entree choice
____ tri tip   ____ halibut   ____ vegan

Details wording

List everything that you’d like to make sure your guests see.

Reception

If your wedding and reception are at separate venues or if there is a long break in between festivities, it is traditional to include the reception information on a separate card. List the venue information, attire suggestion, and cocktail hour if applicable.

Accommodations

If you have a block of rooms reserved for your guests, it is recommended to include that information on a details card. Not all guests will check your wedding website. Be sure to list any reservation code, hotel address and booking phone number.

map / directions

Maps are adorable and elevate any suite to a custom level. Adding a custom map is something worth including if your venue is hard to find or the graphic appeal is too hard to resist!

weekend itinerary

If you are holding additional events beyond your wedding, such as a welcome party or a post-wedding brunch, this is the place to let your guests know those pertinent details. List the date, time, place, and attire if applicable. 

website

On any variety of insert, your wedding website should be listed so that guests can easily find more details!

examples

Wedding Details
Please join us for a brunch
to say farewell to the newlyweds
Sunday, September 20, 2020
10 am – 12 pm
Hotel Murano
Torcello Room · 1320 Broadway · Tacoma

Lodging
We have reserved a block of rooms
at Hotel Murano
Mention the Smithson/Allen Wedding
for a discounted rate.

adrienneandcarter.com

Wedding and Reception
The Admiral’s House
2500 West Marina Place
Seattle, Washington

Transportation
Due to limited parking, guests are encouraged to
carpool and rideshare to and from the event.
Shuttle service is required from the entrance gate to the
house commencing at 4:30pm and concluding at 12:30am.
Please plan accordingly.

More details
phillips-latimer.com

Guest addressing etiquette

Because how you choose to write your guest names matters!

It is important to consider how to address your guests in order to avoid confusion when it comes to understanding who is invited to your wedding. The method in which you address your envelopes indicates who is, and who is not, invited to your wedding. It is also your first introduction to close friends and family of your spouse-to-be so avoiding faux pas are ideal!

Married Couple

On the outer envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Ethan Benson
or Mrs. Olivia and Mr. Ethan Benson

On the inner envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Benson
or Olivia and Ethan

Unmarried Couple Living Together

Each name should be listed on its own line

On the outer envelope:
Mr. Ethan Benson
Ms. Olivia Harrington

On the inner envelope:
Mr. Benson
Ms. Harrington

Married Woman doctor or two doctors

On the outer envelope:
Dr. Penelope Bell and Mr. Tyler Vonn
or Dr. Penelope and Mr. Tyler Vonn
or The Doctors Penelope and Tyler Vonn

On the inner envelope:
Dr. Bell and Mr. Vonn
or Dr. and Mr. Vonn
or The Doctors Vonn

Adding a plus-one

If you are inviting someone with a plus-one, try to find out the name and address of his or her date and send two separate invitations if they are not living together. If that’s not possible, it is acceptable to use ‘and guest’.

On the outer envelope:
Mr. Graham Chilton

On the inner envelope:
Mr. Chilton and guest
or Graham and guest

Married Couple – different last names

On the outer envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Ethan Benson
or Mrs. Olivia and Mr. Ethan Benson

On the inner envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Benson
or Olivia and Ethan

Same-sex couple

Same rules outlined for married/unmarried couples

On the outer envelope:
Ms. Regan Burnell and Ms. Jasmine Garcia
or Regan Burnell and Jasmine Garcia

On the inner envelope:
Mr. Burnell and Ms. Garcia
or Regan and Jasmine

Those With Other Distinguished Titles

On the outer envelope:
The Honorable Maia Lee and Captain Eli Lee, US Navy
Captains Maia and Eli Lee, US Navy

On the inner envelope:
Judge Lee and Lieutenant Lee, US Navy
Or The Captains Lee

Children and Families

Children are included on the inner envelope of their parents’ invitation on the line beneath their parents’ names. Start with the oldest, followed by their siblings in order of age. For girls under 18, use “Miss” for boys under 18, use “Master”. Traditionally, children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation.

On the inner envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Cunningham
Master Jack and Miss Ellie

For a single envelope:
The Cunningham Family
or Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Cunningham
Master Jack and Miss Ellie

Note: If you don’t include each child’s name, you’re implying that children are not invited. But, addressing etiquette is largely a lost in translation today so don’t be surprised if people assume they can bring their children even if they are not listed. We recommend using your wedding website to explain that your wedding is adults only. It is also advisable to word your RSVP in such a way that it will become evident that there has been a misunderstanding. That way you can follow up individually to explain the situation.

Attire Etiquette

Because dress codes change depending on your event!

CASUAL

Casual dress means wedding guests can wear pretty much anything they want. We recommend a summer dress for the ladies and dress pants with button-down shirt or polo shirt for the guys.

Cocktail attire, semi-formal, or dressy casual

All three of these phrases are asking guests to dress somewhere between formal and casual. We recommend a cocktail dress for the ladies and a suit and tie or a sport coat for the gents.

beach formal

Beach inherently indicates casual, which is why formal is tacked on to the end — it’s still a classy affair. We recommend a formal summer sundress (tea-length or knee-length) with flats for the ladies and a summer suit with linen shirt, linen pants or khakis and sandals for the guys.

Formal attire or black tie optional

These two phrases are very common in today’s weddings. They indicate that the wedding party will be in formal wedding attire, and it’s optional for all guests. We recommend a dark suit or tux for the men and formal evening wear (floor length dresses or evening pant suits) for the women.

Black tie

Black Tie usually indicates an evening affair where the men where tuxedos and the women wear formal gowns of any length.

White tie

This is the most formal of all wedding dress codes. We’re talking soirees at the White House kind of evenings. The gentlemen dress in long-tail tuxedos and the women don full-length ball gowns. If only we could be so lucky as to attend one of these fabulous affairs!